Unsure insurance

Sketch me something unreal, I need to escape this painting. Shake this feeling Zach. Sink into the hospital bed, your bed, your coffin. Build it from scratch because scratch is all you possess. Surrender to me the true intentions of that indecisive heart. What is this? Panic grips the marrow of my musical bones. It deafens me, all of it. I see you as the ocean, my fascination, true beauty, and my greatest fear. You're smarter than this Zach. My past has an ever-changing face, and it's finally making an appearance... you weren't invited, you're never invited. Overwhelmed with numb emotions, could've sworn we pasted that tree before, this forest never ends. My anxious eyes and surgical hands are playing a beat I can't dance too.
Prioritize, I beg you.
The black book imbedded in that wonderful mind is out of order. Please don't make sense. His rants start commotions, he hates commotions, please, no commotions. Feast on my open palms, they can't close, I've tried for so long. Everything's futile, is this a set-up? A permanent play, the actors are tired, and they will never go home. Uneasy, winds manipulate my every move. I'm beginning to think, that isn't a good sign. Stop thinking, you're destroying yourself.
No, wait, it's not my warmth, notice, please.
What is he saying? Why am I speaking in third person? I'm referring to me, but I'm not myself, therefore Zach is me and I am not, except I am. Shame on me for my thoughts, but doctor just be right. I hear the engines roaring at the seem, the planes gliding out my chest, where are they going? Where am I going? Where isn't the question, I am. You restless fool, everything is your weakness, stop being so strong. Why does all that is good tare me apart limb from limb, accept it you stubborn prick. Pacing so fast accomplishing nothing but imaginary scenarios that all butcher my heart. I miss the butcher. You're sick, act like it.

The green pendulum etches spirals in your eyes and they always take me to another place, a place warm, right, mine. Give me something to own, I can't bare covert operations of affection. Stitched lips and a naive boy keep me company tonight. Why is this home so lonely? Put me behind another soul's eyes, I can't bare to look. Fear fulls me, and fear alone. Risk all, and die with failure. acknowledge the risk, it's my final breath, take that from me and I'll suffocate, for eternity. Put me back with those confused children, I clearly didn't learn enough. Nothing is wrong, dreams are coming true, comets are common, my ribs are soothed, and I've never been in so much pain. A cure none the less. Fight fire with fire. Fight death with death. Repair this filth, I'm sorry I can't, but you're a repairman, I strictly fix everything but me. I'm stuck in wonder, and the only book that will till me the ending burned, many, many years ago. What the fuck am I saying. Deprivation of every sense, make me keen to the impossible. I see it all, hear it all, I can taste the fallacies, smell your remorse. Choose, my patience received the same tragic news. Do I mean this? Shouldn't I know? Insignificant, always. You've much to teach me. My pallet is empty, too empty. Save me... again and again. I've never depended on anyone, not once. Let me try it. I promise I won't break anything, and I will replace anything I damage. You have my word.
My worthless word.

Red Light

You said you wanted
me to come over,
and even though it
was nearly midnight,
I agreed.
I hit every red light
between here and
your house. Start
stop wait and wait
and wait and start
just to stop and wait
again, stuck listening to
weight loss infomercials,
right wing talk radio,
that god awful jingle
for the lawyer that
tries to sound like
a wild west cowboy.
Idling under these red
cyclops eyes, I wanted
to tell you that I can't go on,
that I was tired and sick
and had to go home,
that I’d see you tomorrow,
maybe, but I finished the drive
and remembered why:
the sweet scent of your hair;
your lips against my neck,
saying,
“I’m glad you’re here.
I’m so glad you’re here.”

Ease Your Skin

Let me tell you a tale of no ordinary people. Vessels of the endurance they used up to the core. One with a flawless, fake smile, the other with a sadist heart. They organized the rocks at the bottom of everything. Arrogant eyes tore them to pieces and they wandered forever searching for what they were searching for. Encouraging the naive and bashful to the submission, they've all but given up hope. Hope existed only to give them meaning, well, that's what they thought. He found his meaning in the green swirls of the musical oblivion her beautiful face orchestrated to all of his senses. His fingers changed that day. His head no longer heavy, forced to gaze upon the blue he never thought he'd see again. She pushed herself into thinking the opposite of reality, but fortunately for them both, she failed. It still stings his ears, the sound of the words in succession to her expression, given only to him and his alone. He overflows with greed, and her skin is the currency of his obsession. She mirrors his soul with every breath she takes. The words pour, flooding each other to the brim with emotion, emotions never felt by anything living. Sickness flees in horror to her touch. Pain runs with haste intimidated by his stare. Completion of the heart, broken down in the chemistry of their misery is the formula to the utopia that can only exist with their proximity. Love constructed two successors on the number 3 only to taste it's own medicine. Chemicals thread fabricated birds allergic to flight but addicted to lucid visions of an isolated future for two. He is Her, and She, Him. Capital for they are names, being no other names exist. Fret never, and laugh with eternity, slow down your ambitions and hurry your hands. He was rewarded with a Home. The idea makes him cry. She cries to hesitant movement, but he reassures. He left me with a message for you and I quote "Years mean nothing, a promise is a promise, it's safe to trust. I can beat time, if your hand's in mine. You'll see me when you close your eyes. Until soon, hold on to everything I give. My breath is yours, I'll breathe for two. Namelessly take me. Say it, and I'll hand you the future, the only one you want, the only one you need." He'll wait forever he says. I believe him.